Kmart Breaks the Seal on Christmas 2013 Advertising

…and just like that, the love affair with Kmart advertising ended.

The retail bottom-feeder has recently enjoyed a run of accolades over its refreshing commercial spots. <<Quick Rewind: First it was ‘Ship my Pants’ and ‘Big-Gas Discounts’ – then a string of Back-to-School spots featuring playground rhymes and crimes of retro 90s fame (The “Yo-Mama” dis spots being my personal favorite).

First to climb up the 2013 tree!

But with over 100 days till Christmas (that’s right, the countdown still beats in the TRIPLE digits) the same army of “Don’t rush the season!” scrooges that usually have to wait until early-October to rise up are absolutely LOSING IT!

Here’s the spot:

Cool it, perma-bah humbugs.

I can’t imagine the piles of coal Santa must have left in your childhood stockings; y’all are NEVER happy to see the holidays! The spot doesn’t reek of holiday cheer – just a few faint bells and a scantily clad cookie. It’s not an overrun exposé of buy, BUY, BUY! but a subtler, non-specific “calm before the storm” reminder to start planning now so that you (and your wallet) aren’t over extended closer to year-end.

And, you gotta understand Kmart’s position.

The retailer has been playing second fiddle to Target and Walmart for far too long (wait – that analogy doesn’t even begin to describe the magnitude of the situation… more like trying to play a microscopic fiddle without a bow and the fiddle has been stepped on a few times). Now, for the first time in years ever people are actually taking notice of their ads, they’ve got to make the first appeal to holiday shoppers; opportunity knocks!

According to the National Retail Federation (NRF), 12% of consumers begin their holiday shopping before September, 6% during and another 20% kick it off in October.

And while the stock market continues to surge, consumers are still wary from a frugal 2009/2010.

Getting out in front of the others with a campaign that reminds shoppers of expanded layaway promotions isn’t just smart; it’s k(s)mart!

…No? I’ve used that corny play on words too many times before? OK, it’s brilliant!

While Kmart’s ad sets a new high-watermark for “Christmas Creep” – they’re expanding the retailer role in providing joy under the tree. Kmart doesn’t just want to be the place you run for door-busting specials, they want to work with you and help budget throughout the entire holiday shopping process.

Great move, guys. (The spot could have been just a bit funnier, though. The cookie’s creep factor is at 3 – it needs to be at like a 7-8 (aka Burger King ‘King’-creepy)). :P

Kmart’s BIG-GAS Savings…

Just in time for Memorial Day Weekend Travel, Kmart promotes its “Big Gas” savings in a big ass way:

 “Honey, this solves your BIG-GAS problem!”

It’s play on words, part 2!

RAWR! Kmart flexes its marketing might!

Following the viral success of their Ship My Pants spot, Kmart’s second 30-second spot of double-entendres is brilliant.

But is it as funny as their original?

Absolutely. This second serving of slapstick lewd-ity is everything movie sequels hope to be.

Kmart continues to count on comedic delivery to unveil new shopper benefits.

Their new approach is smart (“Kmart smart,” but for real this time).

With the bulk of US consumers aligned either team-Walmart or team-Target, Kmart has fallen on deaf ears for years.

We may not have listened to Kmart on its own merit, but we’ll always listen to a joke. And what’s coming out of Kmart’s mouth is more than just sass – it’s store benefits we might actually be interested in.

$0.30 off at the pump and I don’t even have to go into the store!? That’s a baby step I’m willing to take.

And see? I was so busy chuckling at all the “big gas-es,” I didn’t even notice I was being marketed to.

Precisely what Kmart was hoping for.

Third time’s a charm? Maybe some “sofa king” is next? Bring it. :) 

Kmart will make you SHI* your pants…

Seriously, where did this ad come from?

Kudos to the K!

Ship my pants, ship my drawers and, my personal favorite, ship my nightie.

30-seconds of slight variations on the same double-entendre delivered in rapid succession.

Bathroom humor at its finest; the spot is a silly play on words delivered with a flat affect for added giggles.

Could Kmart have FINALLY found a personality all its own?

In a (retail) world where Target and Walmart have so eloquently carved separate personas, incumbent and former discount juggernaut Kmart was all but ousted.

Seriously. Who is Kmart for? We must have asked the question a thousand times.

With Target taking care of upper-income and design-conscious shoppers and Walmart on call to offer everything to everyone else, Kmart can’t get a single customer to take notice.

But with this spot – we notice.

Like the often neglected, attention-starved little brother, they’re outspoken and they’re spunky. It’s a counter-culture approach to marketing that can be oh-so effective.

The attitude reminds me of when Burger King first introduced us to the King. Or when Carl’s Jr. started opting to sell fast food with raw SEX (latest ad even banned from certain TV play).

You’re saying “OK, Daniel – how is a poop joke like that creepy king or girls in bikinis that fling pulled pork on each other?”

It’s rage against the machine. The spots are a breath of fresh air in a room filled with the stench of the often overplayed, safe, homogenous advertising provided by category leaders.

They’re saying let the leaders cater to the masses (a.k.a. women/mom, and kids). We’ll cater to all the niche markets less concerned with brand (also design, quality, and, when it comes to food, health).

We’d be remiss not to mention the crux of the ad. Can’t find the right size/color/quantity of item in-store? Kmart clerks will research inventory online (via super-sleek tablets, no less) and find, sell, and ship merchandise right to your doorstep…for free.

Now, if only we knew where we could (still) find a Kmart…

Thanks for the laugh guys! Hope it’s just the start of a long run of lewd, crude, and rude commercials. We’re all ears. :P #ShipMyPants